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Day 3 ProLon FMD!
October 28, 2020
1493
Maturing Tenaciously!
Category
I have always been somewhat quiet in my opinions regarding controversial issues…sometimes due to the fear of revelation (being judged or “found out”), and other times inferiority, and even lack of motivation. My ego, of course, does not like to feel attacked or defensive. If I am completely honest I would have to say that MEgo, my nickname for it, is somewhat of a people-pleaser, too. I am not fond of confrontation but I am not afraid of it either. In my lifetime career it was often necessary if I were to be successful. My biggest reason in keeping quiet though has been my struggle with how standing up for what I believe in is investing in the ego and conflicts with my spiritual path/truth.
I would ask myself, why emphasize the “illusion”? Let it go and move on…
“Would you rather be right or happy?” My purpose is forgiveness in this world. If I see the Face of Christ in everyone, there is nothing to defend, and of course, “In my defenseless my safety lies”. Regardless of delusions and illusion, Ken Wapnick said to “be normal”. He meant do what you do in this world (work, pay bills, vote, be a mom/dad/spouse/parent, etc.) but do not do anything that would cause separation/division. He stated that he felt the most important thing is to here is to, “Try to hear the (Love’s) call and respond to it and trust it.” in all things…all throughout each day. I wish he were around today in this time of civil unrest, Trump, and Covid! I can’t imagine his stance would change though…he would probably shake his head and say, “need I say more, really?”.
Until 2016 I was not much of a follower of sports or politics and it is because when I am my ego gets the best of “me”. I don’t like that silly person give my control to. I prefer to remain ignorantly blissful. On this day, September 26, 2020, it is challenging to do so. So, after consulting with Spirit….I am directed to take a loving stand, not fight, not become defensive, but unite in Love. I was reminded that I am not making the illusion real any more than putting on my running shoes and heading out for a run (I wish), or sitting on the couch snuggled up with my loves, eating popcorn, watching a movie, or well, going tinkle (etc., etc., etc.!!!!!).
Another term of Trump will indeed fuel the fires of separation in this country—and probably the world to some degree—his followers are blind and deaf and I don’t understand it but it is not mine to understand. I even asked for clarification but was not given any only told I need to “research”. Part of me wishes I could live in the body of Trump supporter for just one day. I am curious what they see/watch/experience. Nevertheless, I can still love them wholeheartedly.
What I cannot do is sit back and not stand up for Love, peace, unity. Trump is a symbol of dishonesty, racism, homophobia, sexism, with no care for human rights—all of which are great dividers. I am not a coward. I am a peacemaker, Lover, a healer. My body is an illusion within an illusion and I will utilize my voice, pen, and keypad to stand for that which symbolizes Love and allow the Holy Spirit to use each word as seen fit to teach within this dream.
Let us not sit idly by and observe, detached….let us laugh and dance joyfully for that which makes our hearts sing. I don’t think any of us will be doing so if things do not change…
I haven’t posted in almost a month. It’s been a long month. The weight of politics, especially here in the U.S., and Covid 19 being politicized, and this changing, chaotic world can often feel exceptionally heavy…and I have both strong spiritual and physical health foundations. I cannot imagine life without them today. I would indeed be certifiable!
I have had to disassociate somewhat from social media. I have unplugged from the news as well—I (well, WE) try to allot only ten minutes a day to avoid an aneurysm.
I ran over 217 miles for June & July (over 100 each month). So, since May I have run over 100 miles per month. I started August with 5.5 miles yesterday. I’m taking it easy today and tomorrow I will run before fasting for five days. I will walk through my fast but no running. I will walk a few miles a day and do gentle yoga for five days then do a long run next Sunday. Booyah!
I have been eating fairly plant based for the majority of July. My weight loss has been continuing slowly due to a few splurges here and there. I am studying holistic and wellness nutrition and coaching, which has been helping me so much. I have been practicing gratitude as well – always important to my mental state!
I started working for my End of Life Doula mentor as a contracted employee a few hours here and there. That will be good for me with my remote billing gig starting in September full time. Working remotely is my preference.
My husband and I have been practicing stay-at-home as it is a temporary inconvenience that may help to keep him healthy and out of the hospital. I leave the house for the occasional run, grocery store trips, and the rare doctor appointment. If I were to contract Covid and give it to him it would be very hard for me mentally, so I am doing all that I can to avoid that. He is working but stays in an office isolated from everyone. His meetings are all on Webex now. The staying at home is probably the most difficult thing for me. It is a small price to pay though. I will keep on keeping on!!!!
Hurricane season is upon us now, too. Isaias is storming up the Florida coast spewing rain. He’ll be here tonight though we don’t expect much more than rain…looks like he came to the U.S. and broke down…hehe.
I will be more accountable this month. I’m excited about the future. I am excited about learning and passing on my knowledge and experience. I want to be able to help others and in doing so I most certainly help myself!
I admit it. I have been furious. Furious with the lack of leadership in my state (Florida) and furious with the lack of leadership in this country. It is embarrassing. Specialness is the human condition. We always think, “it’s not going to happen to me” and this results in not following “suggested” guidelines, especially when they are not clear and are constantly changing. I get it.
I have been a manager for over twenty six years and one thing that my professional work has taught me is that the majority of people count on direction and clear communication…two things we are very much lacking in this country.
Anger doesn’t get anything done. It is a grand separator. It only hurts me…and it is a reaction based on my ego. So when I am furious I am in fear. I get that. However, I care about people and that is acceptable in this world which we live in. I am not going to defend my position against my spiritual readers. We are meant to “act normal” in this illusory world.
Love is compassion. Love is kindness. Love is thinking about others and how my behavior may hurt or hinder another person, even someone I do not know. So if my staying-at-home, wearing a mask, and practicing social distancing when I have to go out for groceries or such (work) saves even one life, it will be worth it. There is not much I have to do today that I cannot put off until a vaccine is approved, or this virus “disappears” as the POTUS claims it will.
I miss my grand-babies like crazy, and my kids, but I am not going to risk a life to see them…even a life of a person I do not know.
Today, I will practice Love. Today I will practice kindness.
How are you handling this crisis?
