Category

Life

Goals, Gratitude, Life, Running

GREAT-FULL LIVING!

Back in 2009, I believe, I started to write and share a gratitude list daily. I am absolutely convinced it changed my life for the better. Then I relapsed in 2012 and stopped for awhile….the shame kept me in hiding for bit. Less than a year after my relapse, I picked up a white chip and started over and continued writing my gratitude here and there but not consistently. Things started to get serious with my now husband nine months later, and my gratitude writing decreased significantly until it all together stopped. I have since started a “Women of Gratitude” group on Facebook but left it shortly after. Do you know why? Unforgiveness and fear. There were women in the group I did not want in my life due to hurt feelings and fear of judgement. I did not feel safe to be me. I don’t even know the stories around these resentments anymore. I don’t harbor current resentments but prefer to love from a distance. That is necessary sometimes. Of course, this is a public blog, but I am just not that important, in my mind or anyone else’s! I will focus on the love here and let all else go.

Anyhow…my point to the above is that I have no doubt, not one iota, that writing gratitude consistently on a daily basis, living and feeling that deep soul joy, brought me this amazing life I am living today. I am married to my best friend, we truly have so much fun. We may scoff from time to time but it is rare. I work from home, I am constantly learning and growing (Thank You, God! Everything IS–THANK YOU, GOD!!!), taking courses, etc., to be become better and better! I am surrounded by our sweet bulldogs, and I am a MINISTER of GOD!!! I am a minister of Love and hopefully inspiration! That is how I yearn to be, and I will keep on keeping on!

I’m so grateful for this day; for arising this 4th day in a row at 4 AM— for Hal Elrod’s “Miracle Morning”, which has inspired me over the years, and that it’s always there for when I forget or desire to be more, do more. To be and do more than I have been I have to show up. I am often, “too tired” to show up for myself. My birthday gift to myself this year is, “no excuses”. That is my mantra this 53rd year on this earth. I have made some necessary changes in my life to help me save some time as I can definitely spread myself pretty thin. This time is my gift to myself. I will utilize it to make myself smarter, stronger, faster, and get my coaching and ministry business off the ground. NO EXCUSES!!!

I am grateful for bulldogs snoring, a beautiful early morning sky, the funky music Coach Betsy played in our 5 AM run this morning (1920’s electric?!), the Charge Running App., over 4 miles run and done, the sounds of birds singing, my new “No Excuses” bracelet, so I don’t forget!, Whole Food Plant Based diet, for asking my husband for what I need (support arising early, and no more buying Sun Chips – I cannot resist them!), this amazing and abundant life—so very much to be grateful for! We are rich, absolutely rich in all of the ways that count…so much LOVE! I was thinking about when I was younger, kids growing, most of my life was spent living paycheck to paycheck, on the struggle bus. I made good money but kids, you know! Divorce never helps, either…it helps me to remember that so I can be so grateful to have gotten through it…and you know what? Everything always worked out! Always! Everything always WILL work out! God’s got us!!! Sooooooooooooooooooo much gratitude!!! xoxox

May 21, 2022
877
Celebration of Life, End of Life Doula, Health & Wellness Coach, Holistic Nutritionist, Life, Ordained Minister, Running, Spirituality, Training, Whole Food Plant Based

Frolicking 22 Miles

As I said on my Facebook page before I hit the door, I can think of other F-words to use…hehe.

Really though, it was FANTASTIC!

Instead of posting all of my photos individually, I made a video with some of my favorites. When I was getting ready to leave, the pups were having a fit. They did not want me to leave. BUT! When I arrive back home we dance, party, and celebrate! It’s a party!

One of my favorite things about running is using this time to connect with God….I pray and listen…it’s a beautiful meditative experience. I also dance a lot! Call me in the Spirit…just don’t call me late to dinner (hear the drumroll?!?). Ha. Yes, I am way too corny.

Enjoy! IN JOY! xox Oh & if you ever want to run with me, join Charge, or at least check them out…link here:  https://charge.app.link/MaureenYarbrough

March 13, 2022
947
Goals, Life, Running, Spirituality, Work LIfe

Spinning & Turning & Alas, Pausing

Distractions

So here I am – after almost two years since starting this website— I have completed my Holistic Nutritionist Certification, my Health & Wellness Coaching Certification, a second Ministerial Ordination, various Counseling and Facilitator courses (see my profile here: https://www.pathwaysoflight.org/minister_profiles/detail/rev-maureen-yarbrough), I made personal records in my races (5K, Half Marathon) and trained and ran (well, walked the last ten miles) my first Marathon. Now I am training for my second Marathon which will be in Maryland the first week in April! It is very apparent as to why I have not written much!

I am in still in the contemplation stage as to which direction to go and absolutely trust it will be revealed to me. I am showing up here as a part of that process. I have neglected my writing while completing all of the above, working a full time job, as well as taking care of six adorable bulldogs, and being an awesome wife…Oh, yeah, we added to our brood! Watson joined us last June and he’s a handful! Typical boy! He’s a truck…just pushes into whomever is in his way and plows them down. Freddie and I have both almost had our legs pushing out from beneath us from this little (in age only) boy!

Top row left to right: Gertrude, Harley Rose, Bentley. Bottom left to right: Greta, Watson, Myrtle (Lil’ Bit)

What is it I am meant to do? Not continually distract myself so I do not have have time to do what I am meant to do, I know that. It is amusing to witness how I busy myself with education, shopping, etc., to avoid moving forward. My fear/ego, no doubt…trying to stop my shine! Heehee. Since I started to type this several hours ago I have,1. played with my pictures, 2. ate lunch, 3. ordered glasses (not one but six pair), 4. finished watching a documentary on running, and 5. cleared out my email (umpteenth time today!)….seriously, that is nuts!

So, I came here initially (to my website) to update it to incorporate all that I want to “do” (services I want to offer) thinking that in doing so it will all blend and vibe, revealing my true destiny. I have been chatting about it with my husband and he said, “don’t change the name” (when I suggested doing so by possibly adding “minister”), then he added, “no one trusts ministers”, and proceeded to tell me a horrific story that was in the news that reflected ministers abusing the trust of the their trusted followers. So, uh, I do not make it a habit to watch the news on a regular basis, and this is why. It is a small percent that makes it ugly for the rest.

I picture myself at a booth with the signs, “End of Life Doula”, “Celebrant (Life and Death) Officiant, Mistrial Counseling with a focus on Inner Child, Inner Wisdom, Spiritual Awakening, and Relationships”, “Therapist is In” (similar to Lucy in Charlie Brown)—of course, I am NOT a therapist, and would never try to pretend that I am, but I assist my clients to find the answers within…a bit like an unpeeling of an onion, it’s a beautiful thing as the layers are removed. Nevertheless, titles continue, “Holistic Nutritionist”, “Health & Wellness Coach”, “Athlete”, with a focus on running…so, it’s Spirit vs. Ego, but it’s not…it is more aligned with how focusing on LIVING OUT LOUD guided by Love we are more connected to Spirit, to Shining and less engaged to the ego! Does that make sense? If I am speaking to Holy Spirit throughout the day, with each morsel I put in my mouth and each step I take, that is not ego driven. However, being human it is truly impossible to be this way 100 percent of the time but I will keep trying. I will sometimes catch myself when I make things about me versus community, such as a personal record over the unity of helping and inspiring others. Don’t get me wrong, we cannot be martyrs, it is okay to go for those PR’s and train alone, and do what I need to do for me from time to time for if I don’t I will be too burnt out to show up in the world as God would have me do so, but what am I doing the majority of the time? Is my presence resulting in inclusion or division? That is how it is revealed to me…when my presence results in separation of any form it is not of God. So, yes, it is very possible to be attached to this body and it’s fitness and help others, too, as long as I remember my Truth & be a minister to that, putting God first—Love-Unity! Ah, from an introvert, too. Ha!

Well, the good news is that I have clarity, the bad news is that I have no idea what to do with this information yet. What I do know though, without doubt, is that God will reveal more to me in His time, not mine. I will keep doing what is in front of me in consultation with Jesus/Holy Spirit and trust the process. Until then, I hope, pray, intend to show up more here as all unfolds.

I love you.

March 12, 2022
1077
Life, Spirituality

Listening to Ego or Love?

It hit me when I was driving to join my MOTR running group this past Sunday….when I accepted a position with a well know practice here last April, it was my ego who wanted that position as it was a prestigious position with a rather large local group. I was blessed enough to have had two offers at the same time…one, a remote position, and the other, in person managing approximately twenty technicians. I was bowled over that I actually found a position locally in ophthalmology as I hadn’t much luck in that area here since we relocated to the area in 2014. I desired a position where I felt like I belonged…this practice did have that feeling. However, by day five I had a taste for it and knew it would be immensely draining and that I would have no time for much else. It just so happened the remote position reached out to me that evening “checking in” to see how I was doing and if perhaps I had changed my mind. I truly do not like being a flake…I committed to the position I accepted immediately when I said “yes” and my boss was pretty cool, too, which means a lot to me….nevertheless, after spending the weekend thinking about it and moving through another exhausting Monday with a taste of what was in store for me I reached out to the remote position and asked what they were thinking about and then requested a counter offer (which I totally stink at). Of course, after discussing this with my husband and our deciding together (Holy Spirit was nudging me, for sure!). He was hesitant as I was getting the vibe that he almost feels my working at home is not working (wth?!?! those dang distorted thought systems we grow up with!) but I had a taste of it through Covid and l loved being at home with our babies (yes, the bulldogs) and they sleep all day, too….also, another big consideration for me is that though I have been managing for 30 years, I was pretty burnt out on it. Quite honestly, I have wanted to leave managing medical practices for some time but you get “stuck” by the income, you know? I also felt that my husband resented my working from home which is not good, of course. However, after sitting with everything through my first weekend at the new in-person position, I knew that the remote position was the perfect option for me. My husband and I decided that if the counter offer was accepted I would in turn take the job….which they did and I did! I was not proud to leave resign from the management position but quite honestly I am so relieved. My heart was not in it.

So, who are you listening to….is it the ego, while Love is tapping you on the shoulder asking you to turn around and choose again?

ego or love?
June 29, 2021
1196
Life, Relationships, Work LIfe

That Damn Fork in the Road

I’m sitting here…at the fork in the road…which way will I go?

One way leads to seeming security—I say seeming because nothing in this world is truly secure…it is a world made for flux ending in demise. I am giggling because really, why all this pressure in such a world? What does anything really matter? It is a story to be played out! Which role do I want?

Let’s play a game!!! I love games, not really, but I love to find solutions…that is true! I AM a solution driven person.

So. What fears do I have? My biggest fear is letting down my husband. My faith has proved to me over and over in my life that regardless, I am going to be okay, WE are going to be okay! For some reason, well, I know the reason…the fear belief system we were raised with…I say we, because me and my husband could have grown up in the same household! We were taught that we have to go to work, nose to the grinder, head down and work hard – – no questions asked. We are not meant to be happy or enjoy it. It’s life baby, suck it up, buttercup!!! My husband is worried about taxes and benefits. Solution: earn more money. I feel that my current at home position could really turn into something more. I only need time. And once my husband receives his second immunization this month I can also reach out and start doing funeral services again…so I will be working three positions that I love…billing at home, working with Deanna/the End of Life movement, and working with funeral homes. I am afraid of resenting him, too, which would be in letting myself down, you know?

Now let’s talk about the position that I was offered doing what I do…managing employees. I was so caught up in the fact that I was offered the position so soon that I did not even process the actual position with this company and what that looks like! It is for a doctor and his wife, who is the admin over me….never a great situation. I will be traveling with the doctor between two locations and sitting at the front desk with the front desk team, not having a work station, an office, or privacy. I see myself driving them AND myself nuts. It does not feel good. I did not even pause in the “reality” of the position before. I’m also concerned because she was late and did not apologize for being late, and she was so anxious to hire me…not all things that appear awesome are truly awesome!! Also, it is in a location that I worked before and it was not great, weird, right? Lastly it is a similar locations to my last position…I do not take that as a great sign. If I have to go out and work managing, I would much rather find a position closer to home. I have not really been trying to find a position at all, only applying to those I am qualified for on a whim.

In my pausing here and pondering I see clearly now what woke me up at 1 AM – – I have made my mind up that this position is not for me. It was a disturbing realization in the middle of the night. I awoke with gratitude that I did not rush into anything. What is a solution that will make both my husband and myself happy? I will continue doing what I am doing for now, next week I will send emails out to all of my funeral director contacts letting them know I am available for funerals. I will continue working with my end-of-life crew (I anticipate more will come my way from this venue as well)…if in six weeks it looks like the billing position will not need me (due to the closing of a big account) I will put my nose to the wheel and either find a stay at home position with benefits or I will get out there, hit the pavement, and find a position that is a good fit utilizing my management abilities that is hopefully closer to home.

So….here we are. No more fork. No more pressure. No more angst. Do what is in front of me and enjoy the ride! I did not even have to write a pro and con list! We all know my leaving the pups at home for 8 hours a day would be on the TOP of the CON list!!!!!!!! Now to see what the spouse thinks about all of this….

March 3, 2021
1479
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