Listening to Ego or Love?
It hit me when I was driving to join my MOTR running group this past Sunday….when I accepted a position with a well know practice here last April, it was my ego who wanted that position as it was a prestigious position with a rather large local group. I was blessed enough to have had two offers at the same time…one, a remote position, and the other, in person managing approximately twenty technicians. I was bowled over that I actually found a position locally in ophthalmology as I hadn’t much luck in that area here since we relocated to the area in 2014. I desired a position where I felt like I belonged…this practice did have that feeling. However, by day five I had a taste for it and knew it would be immensely draining and that I would have no time for much else. It just so happened the remote position reached out to me that evening “checking in” to see how I was doing and if perhaps I had changed my mind. I truly do not like being a flake…I committed to the position I accepted immediately when I said “yes” and my boss was pretty cool, too, which means a lot to me….nevertheless, after spending the weekend thinking about it and moving through another exhausting Monday with a taste of what was in store for me I reached out to the remote position and asked what they were thinking about and then requested a counter offer (which I totally stink at). Of course, after discussing this with my husband and our deciding together (Holy Spirit was nudging me, for sure!). He was hesitant as I was getting the vibe that he almost feels my working at home is not working (wth?!?! those dang distorted thought systems we grow up with!) but I had a taste of it through Covid and l loved being at home with our babies (yes, the bulldogs) and they sleep all day, too….also, another big consideration for me is that though I have been managing for 30 years, I was pretty burnt out on it. Quite honestly, I have wanted to leave managing medical practices for some time but you get “stuck” by the income, you know? I also felt that my husband resented my working from home which is not good, of course. However, after sitting with everything through my first weekend at the new in-person position, I knew that the remote position was the perfect option for me. My husband and I decided that if the counter offer was accepted I would in turn take the job….which they did and I did! I was not proud to leave resign from the management position but quite honestly I am so relieved. My heart was not in it.
So, who are you listening to….is it the ego, while Love is tapping you on the shoulder asking you to turn around and choose again?
